If You Love Me

If you love me, you will not lay every bad mood, negative emotion or relationship issue at the feet of my gender identity.

If you love me, you will never, ever, ever try to control my physical appearance, be it as trivial as the length of my hair or as permanent as how many tattoos I get.

If you love me, I will be a priority in your life, not an option, a backup plan or an acceptable alternative.

If you love me, you will listen. Truly listen, not just put a patient look on your face and tune me out.

If you love me, you will not rub your flirtations with others in my face unless flirtation with others is an acceptable aspect of our relationship. In any case you will not rub them in my face with the intention of reminding me of how desired you are by others. I don’t care about them. I care about us.

If you love me, you will help me to ensure that we never have the same fight twice; you will help me to solve the problem the first time.

If you love me, you will draw me closer, not push me away at the first sign of troubled times ahead.

If you love me, you will never think it acceptable to criticize or trivialize my decisions and beliefs then get angry at me when I don’t blindly go along with yours.

If you love me, you will listen to my advice when you ask for it instead of shrugging it off because it wasn’t what you wanted to hear.

If you love me then you will realize that a successful relationship requires massive amounts of effort on both sides; it isn’t something you can coast through in the lowest possible gear while I put in all the effort and shoulder all the heartache.

If you love me, you won’t have to read any of this and wonder if it was written about you.

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2 responses to “If You Love Me

  • Jolie

    I hate whatever caused this, but the cadence and structure of the post was amazing.

    Love you.

  • FFG

    I’m with Jolie – I hate whatever caused this. HOWEVER, I’m amazed at how young you are and how you’ve “gotten” something that takes many of us YEARS to figure out. You rock, sugar. xoxo

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