Review: NobEssence Tryst
You could have knocked me over with a feather the morning I woke up to an email from Epiphora, informing me that I’d won her Woodgasm contest. I, who can easily be lumped into that category of people who never win anything, not only won a contest but won one in which the prize was my choice of whichever NobEssence toy I wanted from SheVibe.com. Have I mentioned for how long and how badly I lusted after a wooden sex toy? Talk about a (wet) dream come true.
And then there she was: the Tryst, my chosen trophy, handed to me a few days later by a chuckling delivery man (he gets a kick out of my dog, who goes nuts whenever anyone knocks on the door). Within moments she was laid bare on my kitchen counter, her dips and curves of striated bamboo damn near glowing in the midmorning light. Do you see now why I’m using feminine pronouns for the Tryst? Yes, she may be a stylized phallus, but nothing so beautifully crafted into such soft lines and curves could ever be anything but female.
Luckily, though my current living situation is far from private, I didn’t have to wait long before the opportunity arose to take her out for her maiden voyage. So, with anticipation and excitement fizzing like sparkling wine through my veins, I unsheathed the Tryst from her understated but gorgeous storage box, and took her for a spin.
Here’s where my rose-colored dream comes crashing down into a rather laughing reality. You see, my eyes were apparently much bigger than my cunt, because I started with the big end, which is 2” in diameter at its widest, with a bulb that maximizes at 1 ½”. For some women that probably wouldn’t make them bat an eye, but for me it was a serious “ouuuufffff need more lube!” moment. Actually, it turned into a “fuck this, I’m starting with the smaller end and warming up” moment. And let me just tell you, folks: that smaller, knobby end may not fill a girl to the brim girth-wise, but those knobs feel freakin’ fantastic. And the knob at the end hits my G-spot flawlessly.
After a warmup with the little end and a clit orgasm or two, I finally felt ready to re-try the big end. And hey, whaddaya know, with a little warmup and a generous dollop of lube, the big end slid in with no problems. And… damn. Damn. Yeah, the knobby end feels awesome, but there is nothing that compares with the feeling of being completely filled with a perfectly contoured, body-safe-enameled, girthy piece of silken wood.
I don’t squirt.
Need I say more?
No, really, I do. Aside from the genius engineering of the Tryst which places the bulb of the fat end perfectly against my G-spot after dipping down to hook gently under my pubic bone, there’s also the none-too-easy feat of easy handling which the Tryst has also accomplished. By which I mean: either end makes a perfectly usable handle. You’ll have to wipe off the lube if you’re going to switch ends because otherwise the Tryst will be too slippery to hold onto, but otherwise: perfection. So this is definitely a toy that can be used solo as well as with a partner.
Oh, and cleanup? Three words: it’s a breeze. Just give her a wash with warm water and soap (nothing scratchy/exfoliating because you don’t want to damage the enamel), or wipe down with a 10% bleach solution if you’re sharing. Dishwashers are probably not a good idea because of how rough their cleaning methods are, and boiling is probably also to be avoided. NobEssence doesn’t seem to say one way or the other about boiling, but my guess is that heat of that degree probably isn’t going to be great on the enamel.
The enamel is another thing to be addressed. I have come across a lot of people who cringe at the idea of a wooden sex toy, I think because the image of splintery, ill-finished wood pops into their heads. This is not the case at all with NobEssence toys. Not only are they sanded to smooth perfection, but NobEssence also invested a lot of research into a completely body safe, hypoallergenic, phthalate-free, odorless and colorless polymer enamel they’ve dubbed Lubrosity, which makes their toys some of the safest things you can insert into your body. And hey, the Tryst passed my test so chances are it’ll pass yours too, since my cunt is easily one of the pickiest, most sensitive ones out there. Just don’t drop the Tryst or bang it against anything hard, at risk of damaging the enamel and pretty much ruining the whole toy.
In a nutshell, the Tryst has easily become one of my favorite orgasm aides, one of the first toys I reach for when I am feeling the need for a G-spot orgasm or five. Its body-safe finishing makes my cunt blissfully happy instead of angry, and its inspired sculpting is 100% conducive to not only amazing orgasms but squirting orgasms as well. Hell, I almost think NobEssence should team up with Liberator and sell Tryst/Throe kits, because with how well the Tryst performs, I am now in need of something a little more absorbent than a mere towel!
With that being said, I also owe huge thanks to Epiphora for holding the fabulous Woodgasm contest, to SheVibe for providing this wonderful miracle of a toy, and of course to NobEssence, without whose existence I would never have found my true sex toy love. Cheers to you all!