Review: Clover Clamps

Clover Clamps

Clover clamps are practically a staple in the BDSM world. They bring a wicked gleam to any sadist’s eye and evoke a whole range of reactions in a bottom, depending on their level of masochism. Naturally then, when Babeland offered them for review I had to take them up on it.

If you’re familiar at all with the most popular implements of the sadomasochistic community, you know what clover clamps are and what they do. They are rather large metal clamps attached to each other by a chain. The actual clamp bit is encased in a textured rubber tip. The clover clamps are notorious not only for their strength alone but for the fact that they, unlike any other clamp I’ve heard of, will actually tighten when pulled on, making them a struggling bottom’s worst enemy. You can see why they’re so popular!

Naturally due to that popularity I had high expectations of these clamps. And unfortunately these particular clover clamps did not live up to my expectations at all. They are light. Surprisingly light. Too light. They barely weigh anything at all in my hand, much less when hanging from body parts. I also found the connecting chain to be frustratingly short; unless your victim is petite with close-set breasts, you may actually encounter a little trouble getting the clamps on both nipples at once. (With labia obviously this will not be an issue since labia are always right next to each other.) The clamps are also difficult to open because the chain links are directly attached to the clamps instead of attached to each other by a smaller, less obtrusive jump ring.

Now, what about the most extolled virtue of the clover clamps, the infamous ability to tighten when pulled? Meh. Not impressive. Did I manage to pull them off my nipples? Well, no, but then my nipples are extremely sensitive and I am not a pain slut at all, so I chickened out. Anyone with any measure of masochism, however, would probably not find it any issue to pull these off. I was, however, easily able to pull the clamp off the webbing between my thumb and index finger; I compared these clamps to a friend’s clover clamps (purchased from another company) and was not able to pull her clamps off the same webbing. Hers also did not catch when opening and closing because her chain was attached to the clamps with a jump ring.

Needless to say, these clamps were very disappointing. Will they work as clamps? Well, sure. But do they really fulfill the premises of clover clamps? Aside from the telltale clover design, they unfortunately fall exceedingly short of the reputation true clover clamps have earned over the years. As much as I love Babeland, unfortunately I would have to recommend going elsewhere if you want clover clamps that actually live up to their reputation.

However, I as always want to thank Babeland for letting me review their products whether they be successful or not!

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