The bubble of my immediate world seems to be getting more and more genderqueer. Taking M shopping for dress pants, shirts and ties. Scouting around for suspenders. I’m told that next up is a blazer-type jacket. I’m sure binding bras would be somewhere on that list if she didn’t absolutely hate bra shopping so much.

I’m excited beyond words about the upcoming party this weekend. My first play party, around Halloween, and all the local people whom I’ve met so far and want to play with are going to be there. Whether or not I get to play with them all, I think this party is going to go very well. Now I just need to come up with a dish, since it’s a potluck party.

I feel oddly disconnected from the kink/sex blogging scene on M’s computer. I think it’s probably because I don’t have my rather extensive list of favorites and my feed reader. Luckily my computer is being worked on right now, so hopefully soon…!

I’ve been experiencing some frustration lately because I don’t feel like this blog is going anywhere. I don’t feel like I have a very large audience. But then I think to myself, why do I NEED one? Yeah, I’d love to become a fairly well known sex/kink blogger someday, but (1) Rome wasn’t built in a day and (2) a blog, I feel, should be first and foremost for the writer and not for the audience. I need to remember to write to express and organize my own thoughts, not to get a few hits and comments. This blog is primarily for my own review and progress, and should anyone else take enlightenment from its contents, then that’s a bonus. A bonus, but NOT the main point.

Of course, I say this and realize that I could very well be alienating what readers I do have. No, I am not waving the finger to my small little circle of readers! If I really intended to share these thoughts only with myself, I’d lock this journal down or write it on paper. Knowledge is power or so it’s said, and I’m all about sharing the power of knowledge – particularly on such subjects as are considered “taboo” by the unenlightened.

Last night I was lying on my bed listening to Ellie Lumpesse‘s interview on her show Bedroom Radio with Sinclair Sexsmith of Sugarbutch fame. I don’t know what exactly compelled me to listen to it again, but it is a really good interview. (I urge you to partake if you haven’t yet.) Even better when you really take the time to listen to only it and not be distracted by anything else that’s going on. The concepts discussed are really thought-provoking. The sex story that Sinclair reads at the end, too, is jaw dropping. The first time I read it I got horny. The second time I read it I could feel my heart fluttering in my chest. I could feel my cunt contracting. I could hear my own breathing inside my head as loud as the roar of the ocean. Somewhere in the back of my head, underneath the semi-orgasmic haze, I was inspired to write my own sex stories. One day.

Well, before I make this post too long, I’m off to track down more smut on the Sugarbutch Chronicles. That Mr. Sexsmith can turn quite the tale.


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