Argh… too many thoughts running through my head. That’s what I get for reading so many blogs of others.
My first and foremost thought is how FUCKING much I love butch women. I’m hesitant to go into this much because lord knows I’d probably end up saying something inadvertently offensive (open mouth, insert foot!) but seriously, wow. Reading Sugarbutch Chronicles just puts it all in perspective in a really “WOW” kind of way. There was a picture on the website showing two “womyn,” as was quoted in the caption, working on building… I think it was a stage or a catwalk or something. One picture was a closeup of one girl’s hips, around which was a loosely draped toolbelt. Oh. My. GOD. I think I got a shiver down my spine. That just takes the whole image of a “sexy construction worker” to a whole new level.
And that’s all I’ll say on that subject, before I get a taste of my toeses.
Another, less happy thought I have roiling around in my mind is the WHY behind my reluctance for sex. Yeah, what the FUCK, right? I don’t consider myself to have a low sex drive. It’s THERE. I fantasize. I see people out in the world and want to know them sexually. I get myself off. But something goes really damn wrong when it comes to fucking my partner. I think about it at night, when we’re in bed – I think about the toolbox on the floor beside our bed that we have converted into a kinky toybox, about the flogger hanging on a nail on the wall at the end of our bed. Hell, I flogged her a few times the other night. Heheh, it was fun! I fucking love flogging! So why don’t I want to put forth the effort to actually FUCK my partner? Am I that lazy? Is there some underlying reason that demotivates me? It certainly isn’t her. I mean, come on – it goes right back to my love of butch women. She is the ULTIMATE butch woman because she is MY butch woman. I most certainly find her attractive, desirable – mentally and physically! So what the fuck is my problem?
You know, it probably is laziness. My lazy ass falls into bed and just wants to go to sleep. Yeah, well, a good sex life is well worth losing a little sleep. I need to get it together.
Speaking of which… you know what, we pulled the futon out for some good sprawling/cuddling time. I want to try some spread-eagle bondage. Later, y’all. ;)