I almost feel as though I’m stalled alongside the road that symbolizes my journey into and through the world of BDSM. M and I are comfortable in our roles, we’ve played with various toys – not all of them, mind you; my wish list is still VERY long, but that anticipation of playing with ANYthing, of popping the toy cherry if you will, is no longer there. I feel like I’ve hit the first roadblock, and it’s keeping me from progressing into broadening my horizons – basically, expanding into the rest of the community. I want to meet others! I want to talk face to face to people about this lifestyle, I want to flirt and be a little slutty, and show off my girl to the rest of them. It really, really sucks that there won’t be a local munch until maybe next month. I’m ready.

On a more positive note, I seem to have developed a Look that brings M down from uppity-space and puts her right back into subspace. It’s quite useful since sometimes she just can’t help herself even though she knows I hate it when she’s bratty or childish.

I wish I had more to write about. Unfortunately, regarding the kinkier side of things, not much has been going on. FetLife seems to be slowing down some, activity wise – the groups I’m a part of aren’t nearly as active as they once were – but I think that has to do with people getting fed up with the very, very slow servers. Which reminds me, I really need to donate. No sense bitching if I’m not going to do anything to help fix the problem!

I’ll tellya what, though: many of the people I’ve met on FetLife are positively bedazzling. These people have such charisma, such personality; I feel like a child among rock stars. I can only imagine what meeting them in person would feel like – probably something similar to being swept up in a flash flood. I would die happy, though, if I drowned in those waters.


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