I think I need to sit my girlfriend down and have a talk about exactly how much we’re getting into this lifestyle. It’s certainly there in the bedroom, and outside the bedroom to a certain extent, but I still find her frustratingly bratty at times. I think it boils down to her desires and mine not being clear, not being on the same page. (Well, that and she is just naturally hard-headed, but I really don’t feel she’s a natural bratty sub or SAM.)
Ideally, I want to be in this lifestyle 24/7. I have no desire for a slave or a service sub but I want very much to be her Dominant full-time. I don’t want to be talked back to – the occasional joking smart-mouthing is fine, but constantly argued with is grating. I don’t want to be struck – I enjoy inflicting pain, not receiving it. I certainly don’t want to be subjected to her snits when things don’t go her way – although thankfully, she is getting MUCH better about not wallowing in those.
I want a fine balance between a good, amenable sub and the smart, sassy girl I fell in love with. I love that she’s not a doormat and doesn’t let just anybody roll over her. But I want – and to an extent I expect, which is where I think I’m going wrong – her to, well, submit to me! I want it completely.
But, this post is full of “I wants.” I need to discuss this with her and figure out what she wants, and see if we can’t mesh together a situation that works for both of us.