The deeper meaning of cravings

I’ve known about my Switch nature for quite some time, but for a while I thought my Domme side was stronger than my sub side. Now, I’m not so sure of this. I am coming to believe that this may just be a matter of circumstance.

I’ve been in relationships with women for the past three years or so, and have not had sex with a male during this time. My last relationship with a woman was very chaotic, and I was too busy trying to make it work to worry about penis. Well, my current (and lifelong) relationship is more or less wonderful – I say more or less because every relationship has its ups and downs – so I occasionally find my mind wandering. It generally wanders right into Cockville.

At least twice in this relationship – which, granted, has only lasted 1.5 years so far – I have been absolutely swamped by extremely strong cravings for a penis. Not necessarily a relationship with a male, but I absolutely craved, OBSESSED about having sex with a man. I just attributed it to the fact that I’m getting regular girl sex but no guy sex whatsoever, and to just about anyone with any inclination towards penis, every now and then there’s nothing that can substitute for real, flesh and blood penis. Not even the best dildo/vibrator.

Now that I’m learning more about the lifestyle, I’m beginning to realize that my “cock craving” goes deeper than that. It stems from a desire to be Topped. I love Topping women – women bring out the Domme in me – but with men, I want to be Topped. I don’t just want to have sex with a man, I want to be fucked by a man, to be bent over and thoroughly, deliciously used. And then I want to watch (or even participate) while he fucks my partner, who is mostly submissive.
All this no strings attached, of course. I’m not looking to be collared, or to have an open relationship. I just want a strong, Dominant man to play with, to let loose my submissive side. (And get my girl some experience with men.) I lovelovelove being a Domme, but every now and then She needs to step down and let my sub side have some fun.

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